Loud-talker turns psycho bitch...

Saturday morning started quite early. I woke up at 8 after 4 hours of sleep because I closed the night before. We all met at work so we could carpool to the grocery to get stuff for the trip. A couple of the girls, including loud talker, started smoking the second we left the parking lot. Lesson #1... never go to the grocery store with two high people, don't do it. It's like taking children, "Ooohhh, look at that! Let's get this!"

Skip to the camp site...

The second we arrived we started drinking. Drink of choice for the weekend? Jack. Mmmm. Everyone else smoked themselves silly and drank Natty Ice and Vodka (not together haha.) We struggled to get a fire going, but were successful eventually. We had other campers on either side of us, so we knew that we were going to have to not get ridiculous especially since quiet hours were from 10-7. The weather was perfect, though. Beautiful blue skies and 70 degree weather! Lesson #2... drinking all afternoon on into the evening probably doesn't lead to anything good...and it didn't.

As the night went on we all got louder, but we tried really hard to keep each other quiet. Loud-talker didn't seem to get the point. She didn't think she was being loud and had no concept of whispering. I should have known it was a bad idea when someone got the funnel out so that loud talker could funnel a TALL BOY. After 2 or 3, I can't remember how many she did, the loudness continued to get worse! At some point she ran to her car and drove off to what we thought was the bathroom. We heard 2 crashes. My Social Worker friend decided to follow after her. Loud talker almost ran her ass over.

LT came back to the camp site and flipped her shit. She thought someone had hit her car while she was in the bathroom. Wtf-mate? It's 10:00 at night who the fuck would be out driving, except you? Plus, the camp ground host people lock the gate at 10. So I humored her. Her tail light was busted and had tree bark and moss coming out of it. No paint from another car, just tree. She backed into an f-ing tree. I continued to try to make her be quiet because at this point she was yelling and panicking. "Duuuuuude, someone backed into my car, This is a crime sceeeene, We need to call the cops," she said. Even in my drunken stupor I knew this was a terribly bad idea and prevented this from happening. I tried to reason with her. I told her that we would wake up first thing in the morning and take pictures and then she could call her insurance company. If the cops had come she would have gotten at DUI and there's no telling what would have happened to us. We were drinking in a dry county, BTW.

Someone had hidden her keys from her and eventually gave them to me, who knows why me. After talking to LT for about an hour in her car (because this was the only place we could talk since she was so f-ing loud) she convinced me that she wasn't going anywhere, that she just wanted to be by herself and listen to her cd. I empathized and gave her the keys to her car. Lesson #3... never let drunk people be in charge of keys. Lesson #4.. never give keys to drunk people even when they promise they won't go anywhere.

I told her I would let her be. She wanted to call her husband, but couldn't "find her phone". So, I told her that I would run up to camp to find her phone. FUCKING LIAR PSYCHO BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!! I got up to camp and she tore out of the parking lot. I started panicking. This turned into some sort of panic attack where I began to sob and hyperventilate uncontrollably. In my mind, I knew that she was A. going to kill someone or herself and B. Get a DUI and go to jail, at which point it would get linked back to us and we would get in trouble. I don't have a blemish on my record and I didn't want to start that night.

That night I didn't sleep at all. On stop of Social Worker friend snoring and grinding her teeth, raccoons messing around in our camp site, and all the shit that went down. I couldn't sleep. At one point I woke up and thought LT was in the campsite tearing shit up. I knew, that she was gonna mess with people's cars or knife us in our sleep. Obviously irrational, but helllooo I was intoxicated. Lesson #5 Drama and intoxication do not mix well in the world of Roxie.

I just prayed for the night to be over quickly, so I could wake up and find out where the hell she went.