What a week!

This week has been absolutely crazy. I felt so pms-y and I'm not even pms-ing. I've just been really emotional. I've cried twice at work this week, it's ridiculous. The first was because we got some crazy snow and ice and the whole parking lot was covered. I was terrified of driving home because, here, we don't get ice and snow much. Consequently, I've never had to learn to drive in it. So I practically, in tears, begged my manager to go home. The second time was tonight. I was basically told that I wasn't doing a good job of running a wait at the door and that two other bitches could do it better than me. I was really insulted because I'm the best damn host they've got. Boo.

And can we talk about Grey's Anatomy??? I cry every time I watch that show. What. The. Hell. Is that the goal of the writers? What plot can we do to make people bawl? Oh well, I'm addicted and can't stop watching just like, Private Practice, Nip Tuck, Kath and Kim, The Office, and 30 Rock. Whoa. I'm a tv junkie.

Anyway, I ended up working out on Tuesday, but in turn forgot about my work study job in the women's studies department. Oops. Wednesday we got snowed out of class, which is funny because there really wasn't much need to. The workout itself was amazing. Haven't been back since Tuesday. Will try tomorrow.

But in general the week was not as dreadful as I had anticipated, just emotional. Ha.

Tomorrow is my day off from everything. No class. No work. Monday night should be my last night of training and then I will switch to hosting. Probably not immediately and probably not completely, because they need me. I hate that.

GUESS WHO'S BACK????

Sir Jerkoffalot.

I couldn't believe my eyes. I walked up to him and was all like "Weeeelcome back to this hell hole. I thought you were leaving it forever." He tried to act all like, "Ohh.. I didn't really want to come back but it was better blah blah blah." Shut up already. He actually went an entire shift without sexually harassing me, I was quite surprised. I got my hopes up too soon, though. I worked with him tonight. 2 comment about my boobs, 1 request to go make out, and 15 comments about how he loves me. Ridiculous.

So, hopefully more blogging in the days to come, but if this week is anything like last week, then that might not happen. Will life be eternally busy like this? I surely hope not. I'm only 22 and I'm f-ing exhausted!!!

Happy Weekend to you all!

I've been MIA... I know

Death has indeed attacked me this week. When I posted a little bit ago about getting sick, I thought that I had kicked it in a short amount of time, but alas, I did not. Maybe this is my body's way of telling me to take a time-out. So, it basically shut down. For the past 48 hours I've done nothing but lie on the couch/bed drinking hot tea and water, and eating chicken noodle soup---not to mention all of the vitamins, mucinex and ibuprofen I've ingested. Today, I feel a lot better, but not completely. This week is going to fly by, I know it. Only 9 more days until I'm in the great state of California soaking it up (it being vacation, wine, food and good company). I have lots of homework before this can happen, but there is an end in site--a much needed vaca.

I promise to do a little catch up this week and post some of the things that have been cooking in my head.

Also, I realize I've been bad at not acknowledging the many awards I've received in the last month! I apologize! Recompense to come, I promise!!

I hope your week/weekend has been fantastic!!

LT turns psycho bitch... Part Two

So where did I leave off? Oh yeah, that's right I had a panic attack because I was scared to death she was going to die or kill someone in the night---or you know kill us.

Good news: She didn't die and she didn't kill anyone. She didn't even go to jail. She got home safely and apparently texted everyone at 2 in the morning to let them know that she got home okay. This would have been helpful to know when I was having my freak attack, but because we were in the wilderness no one got reception except a few people and even then, they were asleep when they got the text anyway.

The next morning I was the first one up. I got up to walk to the bathroom (I know it's lame that I used a bathroom while I was in the woods) as soon as the sun came up. I had to find out what happened to LT and after that I could go back to sleep for the rest of the day if I wanted.

Her car wasn't in the parking lot, she wasn't parked in any of the loops in the campground, and the gate didn't open till 7, where the hell did she go???

At about noon, after my first nap, one of the girls received a text from LT saying that she was going to come back to camp to get her stuff that she had left. So as bitchy girls do, we proceeded to talk about what we were going to do and say when she got there. I told them that she was out in my book. OUT. Never again will she receive an invitation (from me) to one of our get togethers. Over. Through. Done. If you know me at all, you know once you cross a boundary, I throw up a 20 foot high electric fence so you can never get back over.

So... she arrived when she said she would, walked up to the camp site and said,

How was ya'lls night?"

My Personal Thought Bubble...
Really?? Um, How do you THINK our night was last night, you stupid, psycho bitch??????? Oh. My. God. Did she forget everything that happened? This bitch is nuts!!

What happened in real life:
One of the girls just replied that we went to bed shortly after she left. Ha. That's so understated.

She looked at me and apologized, "I know you're really mad, and you have a right to be, but I was okay to drive. I was sober enough and got home without any problems."

Irate Me Holding Back: Um, yeah, I am pretty pissed. You fucking lied to me. You drove off INTOXICATED and we had no idea where you were. You're stupid.

Somebody asked her how she got out and she just said that she drove around the gate. There was no fucking way, so we were a little perplexed (isn't that a nice word) by how she escaped.

I didn't say another word to her. I walked down to her car with my camera and took a picture of the damage. I had to have photographic evidence of the crazy ass shit that happened. I laughed to myself on the walk back to camp and couldn't help but think how great my next blog post would be.

Part 3 in the next few days... Working with LT for the first time since the weekend and other scenic pictures from the weekend!

Loud-talker turns psycho bitch...

Saturday morning started quite early. I woke up at 8 after 4 hours of sleep because I closed the night before. We all met at work so we could carpool to the grocery to get stuff for the trip. A couple of the girls, including loud talker, started smoking the second we left the parking lot. Lesson #1... never go to the grocery store with two high people, don't do it. It's like taking children, "Ooohhh, look at that! Let's get this!"

Skip to the camp site...

The second we arrived we started drinking. Drink of choice for the weekend? Jack. Mmmm. Everyone else smoked themselves silly and drank Natty Ice and Vodka (not together haha.) We struggled to get a fire going, but were successful eventually. We had other campers on either side of us, so we knew that we were going to have to not get ridiculous especially since quiet hours were from 10-7. The weather was perfect, though. Beautiful blue skies and 70 degree weather! Lesson #2... drinking all afternoon on into the evening probably doesn't lead to anything good...and it didn't.

As the night went on we all got louder, but we tried really hard to keep each other quiet. Loud-talker didn't seem to get the point. She didn't think she was being loud and had no concept of whispering. I should have known it was a bad idea when someone got the funnel out so that loud talker could funnel a TALL BOY. After 2 or 3, I can't remember how many she did, the loudness continued to get worse! At some point she ran to her car and drove off to what we thought was the bathroom. We heard 2 crashes. My Social Worker friend decided to follow after her. Loud talker almost ran her ass over.

LT came back to the camp site and flipped her shit. She thought someone had hit her car while she was in the bathroom. Wtf-mate? It's 10:00 at night who the fuck would be out driving, except you? Plus, the camp ground host people lock the gate at 10. So I humored her. Her tail light was busted and had tree bark and moss coming out of it. No paint from another car, just tree. She backed into an f-ing tree. I continued to try to make her be quiet because at this point she was yelling and panicking. "Duuuuuude, someone backed into my car, This is a crime sceeeene, We need to call the cops," she said. Even in my drunken stupor I knew this was a terribly bad idea and prevented this from happening. I tried to reason with her. I told her that we would wake up first thing in the morning and take pictures and then she could call her insurance company. If the cops had come she would have gotten at DUI and there's no telling what would have happened to us. We were drinking in a dry county, BTW.

Someone had hidden her keys from her and eventually gave them to me, who knows why me. After talking to LT for about an hour in her car (because this was the only place we could talk since she was so f-ing loud) she convinced me that she wasn't going anywhere, that she just wanted to be by herself and listen to her cd. I empathized and gave her the keys to her car. Lesson #3... never let drunk people be in charge of keys. Lesson #4.. never give keys to drunk people even when they promise they won't go anywhere.

I told her I would let her be. She wanted to call her husband, but couldn't "find her phone". So, I told her that I would run up to camp to find her phone. FUCKING LIAR PSYCHO BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!! I got up to camp and she tore out of the parking lot. I started panicking. This turned into some sort of panic attack where I began to sob and hyperventilate uncontrollably. In my mind, I knew that she was A. going to kill someone or herself and B. Get a DUI and go to jail, at which point it would get linked back to us and we would get in trouble. I don't have a blemish on my record and I didn't want to start that night.

That night I didn't sleep at all. On stop of Social Worker friend snoring and grinding her teeth, raccoons messing around in our camp site, and all the shit that went down. I couldn't sleep. At one point I woke up and thought LT was in the campsite tearing shit up. I knew, that she was gonna mess with people's cars or knife us in our sleep. Obviously irrational, but helllooo I was intoxicated. Lesson #5 Drama and intoxication do not mix well in the world of Roxie.

I just prayed for the night to be over quickly, so I could wake up and find out where the hell she went.

Two-parter post to come...

Exhausted from the weekend, I am taking yet another nap today and have to work at 6, so I apologize for not having the juicy details of the weekend for you today. I will promptly start writing as soon as I recover from the debauchery and drinking. As always, there was drama and because of this, the story will be a two-parter! So be prepared! :)

Camping!

I will be gone camping for the next two days with a bunch of girls from work. This should be an adventure because it was quite dramatic trying to make plans for the weekend. First it was a secret and only certain girls were going, but then inevitably (there's always that one bitch) someone let the cat out of the bag and invited ALL the people we didn't necessarily want to go. Like the girl who touches you too much, the girl who talks really loud (kind of like the low talker from Seinfeld, except she's LOUD), and the girl who talks like a baby and whines ALL the time. Loud talker will be going, the other 2 will not. They did not manage to get the weekend off..pahaha. My manager was quite upset when he learned he couldn't get shift picked up for tonight because all the people that would do it were going on this trip! I said, "Don't blame me, the 4 people that planned the trip requested off, not the others!" Either way, it should be fun. Lots of debauchery, I'm sure.

I'll blog about it Monday! Wish us luck in the wilderness! :)

Have a great weekend!

Random shit because I'm a slacker and don't post every day like I'd like to!

This week has been fairly uneventful. Besides all the papers and other crap that is due, I've been a very boring person. Tuesday night, however was a nice change of pace. The "Girl Scout Camp" girls got together at the Biologist's house. Tuesday was her last day working for a soul-sucking company and we were excited about celebrating! I got there a little late because I had to work, but time spent with these girls is always relaxing and exciting. Never a dull moment, to say the least.

Last night was my Reality TV night. I have to admit that I've kind of addicted to America's Next Top Model and Project Runway. They aren't as exciting this season as they've been in the past, but I still have to watch. Usually I work on Wednesday, so I have to Tivo it and watch it later. On top of these shows, Lipstick Jungle premiered. If you're not into this show, you should definitely look up last season and start watching. I absolutely love this show!

Tonight I worked until about 12:30 and then got the hell out of dodge so I could come home and write this 2 page paper about Betty Friedan. Has it been written yet? Of course not! BTW. If you're not familiar with Betty Friedan, you need to be. Major part of Women history. She wrote The Feminine Mystique and several other things. Pretty much amazing!

Work was interesting. We were pretty slow so that gave me the opportunity to talk to one of my crack head co-workers. We'll call her Xanax girl--because she takes one every THREE hours. She frequently comes in to work because her life has fallen apart and her boyfriend who is 10 years older than her (and one of our line cooks) mooches off of her--doesn't give her a penny for rent etc. Tonight she was hysterical (which isn't unusual) and was frantically scratching her chest. She wants to kill herself and her bf, she said. If only I weren't crazy he would love me she said. The story is fairly complex, but bottom line is that she needs to ditch this guy so she can be healthy again.

*Steps on soap box*

Ladies--- Please, please, please. Never say you can't live without someone. You can! We don't need people to complete us. If we aren't happy with who we are, then we sure as hell can't try to maintain a healthy relationship with someone.

*Steps off soap box*

I worry about her for this reason. We aren't close friends, but I care about her well-being. She doesn't think she has anyone here in this town and is contemplating moving back to where she's from to escape the problems. The sad part is she moved here to move away from her problems at home.

It's women like this that make me want to become some sort of therapist.

Hope ya'll have a good weekend! I'll be working the whole time! Possibly 50 cent drafts tomorrow night at a local bar with J, but we'll see!

P.S. Please keep Classy in your thoughts...

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Now playing: Sheryl Crow - All I Wanna Do
via FoxyTunes

Forizzle?

Is it already the 7th? What the heck happened to August and the other part of my summer. I'm two weeks into school and already I have an entire list of homework crap that I've had to prioritize. I'm supposed to be writing a Sociology paper about Modernity and Tradition--can they survive without each other. I know. You're thinking, "Woo!" So yeah, supposed to be 3-5 pages, will probably be 3. I kind of have to finish it before I go to work tonight, so I'm procrastinating.... that always gets the job done! :)

Thanks for the responses on the gender perception! I totally agree with all 3 of you!! I'm interested in what the rest of my classmates talk about next week when we discuss this topic. If it's anything like the online discussion forum that we've had, the discussion in class will be LAME. Teachers who really know how to direct discussion are few and far between.

Last weekend was the biggest Labor Day fireworks show in the South! Classy, Diva, and I went to stand amongst the crowds for an hour and a half until the big show started! Afterward, we went to the bar that we love and spent too much money. Nothing but pure relaxation.... and some karaoke watching. A few more beverages and I would have been up there singing "No Scrubs" or some other ridiculous song. We had a blast even though I didn't get to participate in the karaoke festivities!

Has anyone heard of someone asking for their chicken mid-rare before????? Well, last night was a first for me. While working, a particular server came up to me to explain how her table, who had an IQ of ZERO combined, asked for their chicken mid-rare. Besides being illegal, she explained how they can't do that because of salmonella. "You mean you can't cook that any other way?" the lady with the southern drawl asked. Um, no. For real??? A. the server told me that she seriously thought she was being Punk'd. People never cease to amaze, ya know?

Off to finish this paper, I suppose I have procrastinated enough and I'm out of stupid stories to tell! Except for this.....

There's this guy at work, not Sir Jerkoffalot, but another guy who used to live with Sir Jerkoffalot. He recently got kicked out of his house and had to move somewhere else, but that's besides the point. He's a complete loser, sells coke, I'm sure of it, and is a whore. For some reason he thinks he can touch any female in the place, which is kind of surprising because everyone thinks that he's quite homosexual (which isn't a bad thing, but this guy can get laid at a snap of a finger and isn't attractive one bit---I don't understand guys like that.) This is the same guy I punched in the throat a few months ago. He told one of my friends that she looked pregnant. Um.. walking up to a girl and rubbing your hand on her belly asking when she's due is sure to get you punched. Okay, I was drunk, so the punch wasn't in the arm like it probably should have been. My inebriated self punched him in the THROAT. Oh he was pissed. At a later drunken date I apologized. Last week I successfully punched him again. This time in the arm. This time no alcohol. Dude grabbed my boob. Yeah. My boob. As quick as he grabbed I punched. He was all, "Roxie, that hurt.. wahhhh", I'm all like, Don't fucking touch me again, Douchebag. Next time it'll be the face. Hopefully, he's learned his lesson. Hopefully.

As I leave you with that story, I hope you all have a fabulous Sunday afternoon. Enjoy the football and think of me while I'm at working bussing tables and attempting to be nice to the people who walk in the front door! :)