Part Three

Phew. This is has been one long week!

Okay, so where did I leave off? Oh... the taking the pictures and not talking to her cause oh wait, she's a psycho bitch... thaaaaat's right.

So the first time I worked with her, I was cordial, but not super friendly. I smiled, but didn't ask her how she was. She approached me from behind and gave me a big hug while I was talking to someone. She said "I'm sorry." I said, "We'll talk about this later." I wasn't the bad ass that I said I would be and I didn't kick her ass or disown her in any way.

I was cleaning one of her tables and she came up and sat down with me. She said, "I didn't know until she told me, but S said that you had a panic attack of some sort after I sped away." I just kind of looked at her and was like uhh.. Yeah. She continued to apologize for lying to me and endangering herself and others. Her excuse... "I sobered after someone hit my... I mean WHATEVER happened to my car, happened." I just told her either way, she shouldn't have driven home and I shouldn't have given her the keys to her car and she's lucky that she's not dead/in jail/a felon.

That was it. I was quite mature about it. We talk casually at work, but I don't plan on drinking with her again. If someone invites her on another excursion, she's not allowed to drink. I can't take that drama again.

A couple days later she told me that she's been driving a rental car while her car is in the shop. It's something like $500 that she's going to have to pay because her insurance is going to cover it. Can we say Insurance Fraud??? She said that she picked every piece of bark and moss out of the car and it took her three hours.

Whatever bitch ass ho, you're so lame.

LT turns psycho bitch... Part Two

So where did I leave off? Oh yeah, that's right I had a panic attack because I was scared to death she was going to die or kill someone in the night---or you know kill us.

Good news: She didn't die and she didn't kill anyone. She didn't even go to jail. She got home safely and apparently texted everyone at 2 in the morning to let them know that she got home okay. This would have been helpful to know when I was having my freak attack, but because we were in the wilderness no one got reception except a few people and even then, they were asleep when they got the text anyway.

The next morning I was the first one up. I got up to walk to the bathroom (I know it's lame that I used a bathroom while I was in the woods) as soon as the sun came up. I had to find out what happened to LT and after that I could go back to sleep for the rest of the day if I wanted.

Her car wasn't in the parking lot, she wasn't parked in any of the loops in the campground, and the gate didn't open till 7, where the hell did she go???

At about noon, after my first nap, one of the girls received a text from LT saying that she was going to come back to camp to get her stuff that she had left. So as bitchy girls do, we proceeded to talk about what we were going to do and say when she got there. I told them that she was out in my book. OUT. Never again will she receive an invitation (from me) to one of our get togethers. Over. Through. Done. If you know me at all, you know once you cross a boundary, I throw up a 20 foot high electric fence so you can never get back over.

So... she arrived when she said she would, walked up to the camp site and said,

How was ya'lls night?"

My Personal Thought Bubble...
Really?? Um, How do you THINK our night was last night, you stupid, psycho bitch??????? Oh. My. God. Did she forget everything that happened? This bitch is nuts!!

What happened in real life:
One of the girls just replied that we went to bed shortly after she left. Ha. That's so understated.

She looked at me and apologized, "I know you're really mad, and you have a right to be, but I was okay to drive. I was sober enough and got home without any problems."

Irate Me Holding Back: Um, yeah, I am pretty pissed. You fucking lied to me. You drove off INTOXICATED and we had no idea where you were. You're stupid.

Somebody asked her how she got out and she just said that she drove around the gate. There was no fucking way, so we were a little perplexed (isn't that a nice word) by how she escaped.

I didn't say another word to her. I walked down to her car with my camera and took a picture of the damage. I had to have photographic evidence of the crazy ass shit that happened. I laughed to myself on the walk back to camp and couldn't help but think how great my next blog post would be.

Part 3 in the next few days... Working with LT for the first time since the weekend and other scenic pictures from the weekend!

Loud-talker turns psycho bitch...

Saturday morning started quite early. I woke up at 8 after 4 hours of sleep because I closed the night before. We all met at work so we could carpool to the grocery to get stuff for the trip. A couple of the girls, including loud talker, started smoking the second we left the parking lot. Lesson #1... never go to the grocery store with two high people, don't do it. It's like taking children, "Ooohhh, look at that! Let's get this!"

Skip to the camp site...

The second we arrived we started drinking. Drink of choice for the weekend? Jack. Mmmm. Everyone else smoked themselves silly and drank Natty Ice and Vodka (not together haha.) We struggled to get a fire going, but were successful eventually. We had other campers on either side of us, so we knew that we were going to have to not get ridiculous especially since quiet hours were from 10-7. The weather was perfect, though. Beautiful blue skies and 70 degree weather! Lesson #2... drinking all afternoon on into the evening probably doesn't lead to anything good...and it didn't.

As the night went on we all got louder, but we tried really hard to keep each other quiet. Loud-talker didn't seem to get the point. She didn't think she was being loud and had no concept of whispering. I should have known it was a bad idea when someone got the funnel out so that loud talker could funnel a TALL BOY. After 2 or 3, I can't remember how many she did, the loudness continued to get worse! At some point she ran to her car and drove off to what we thought was the bathroom. We heard 2 crashes. My Social Worker friend decided to follow after her. Loud talker almost ran her ass over.

LT came back to the camp site and flipped her shit. She thought someone had hit her car while she was in the bathroom. Wtf-mate? It's 10:00 at night who the fuck would be out driving, except you? Plus, the camp ground host people lock the gate at 10. So I humored her. Her tail light was busted and had tree bark and moss coming out of it. No paint from another car, just tree. She backed into an f-ing tree. I continued to try to make her be quiet because at this point she was yelling and panicking. "Duuuuuude, someone backed into my car, This is a crime sceeeene, We need to call the cops," she said. Even in my drunken stupor I knew this was a terribly bad idea and prevented this from happening. I tried to reason with her. I told her that we would wake up first thing in the morning and take pictures and then she could call her insurance company. If the cops had come she would have gotten at DUI and there's no telling what would have happened to us. We were drinking in a dry county, BTW.

Someone had hidden her keys from her and eventually gave them to me, who knows why me. After talking to LT for about an hour in her car (because this was the only place we could talk since she was so f-ing loud) she convinced me that she wasn't going anywhere, that she just wanted to be by herself and listen to her cd. I empathized and gave her the keys to her car. Lesson #3... never let drunk people be in charge of keys. Lesson #4.. never give keys to drunk people even when they promise they won't go anywhere.

I told her I would let her be. She wanted to call her husband, but couldn't "find her phone". So, I told her that I would run up to camp to find her phone. FUCKING LIAR PSYCHO BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!! I got up to camp and she tore out of the parking lot. I started panicking. This turned into some sort of panic attack where I began to sob and hyperventilate uncontrollably. In my mind, I knew that she was A. going to kill someone or herself and B. Get a DUI and go to jail, at which point it would get linked back to us and we would get in trouble. I don't have a blemish on my record and I didn't want to start that night.

That night I didn't sleep at all. On stop of Social Worker friend snoring and grinding her teeth, raccoons messing around in our camp site, and all the shit that went down. I couldn't sleep. At one point I woke up and thought LT was in the campsite tearing shit up. I knew, that she was gonna mess with people's cars or knife us in our sleep. Obviously irrational, but helllooo I was intoxicated. Lesson #5 Drama and intoxication do not mix well in the world of Roxie.

I just prayed for the night to be over quickly, so I could wake up and find out where the hell she went.

Two-parter post to come...

Exhausted from the weekend, I am taking yet another nap today and have to work at 6, so I apologize for not having the juicy details of the weekend for you today. I will promptly start writing as soon as I recover from the debauchery and drinking. As always, there was drama and because of this, the story will be a two-parter! So be prepared! :)

Camping!

I will be gone camping for the next two days with a bunch of girls from work. This should be an adventure because it was quite dramatic trying to make plans for the weekend. First it was a secret and only certain girls were going, but then inevitably (there's always that one bitch) someone let the cat out of the bag and invited ALL the people we didn't necessarily want to go. Like the girl who touches you too much, the girl who talks really loud (kind of like the low talker from Seinfeld, except she's LOUD), and the girl who talks like a baby and whines ALL the time. Loud talker will be going, the other 2 will not. They did not manage to get the weekend off..pahaha. My manager was quite upset when he learned he couldn't get shift picked up for tonight because all the people that would do it were going on this trip! I said, "Don't blame me, the 4 people that planned the trip requested off, not the others!" Either way, it should be fun. Lots of debauchery, I'm sure.

I'll blog about it Monday! Wish us luck in the wilderness! :)

Have a great weekend!

Unwanted House Guests

No, the Lazy Bastard is not leaving today. Tomorrow he says.

Spent the last 2 days camping. Fun except for the torrential down pour and my dog running away for a short time.

Working all weekend. Woo.